Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Don't get me wrong, I don't know what I'd do without the internet, e-mail, or MSN, but sometimes I just miss the good ol' days where we'd all talk to each other face-to-face or, at worse, by phone. In today's fast-paced environment and need to multi-task, I am often so reliant on technology that developing and maintaining friendships is quite a different challenge.

Not that long ago, I would regularly go out with friends to coffee shops, hang out at parks, get together for dinners, or meet up to play board games/sports. We would use these occasions to catch up with one another about family, school, work, etc, pray / share with another, or just 'shoot the breeze'. Now, many of these things that I've mentioned we still do together, but much less frequently. And in the process, it seems that we have lost some of our 'social' skills.

Conversations are briefer and with less 'substance'. Instead of doing things that encourage chatter, we prefer to do activities (e.g. renting movies) that require little or no interaction. Going out to dinner seems to be more for function (i.e. to eat/drink), rather than an opportunity chitchat and share. Gatherings can often include more 'moments of silence', where you can literally hear the crickets chirping, until someone breaks the ice with a, "how 'bout those Raptors?" :D Either we don't know what to talk about anymore, or we're just all afraid to 'open up'. :P Also, with the amount of time that we spend in front of our computer screens--and I am guilty of that--talking to each other nowadays often means e-mailing each other or instant messaging. I'll concede that these inventions have allowed me to maintain contact with more people and keep in touch in especially long distance friendships. However, sometimes I think I've gained quantity at the expense of quality. There are many people I know, but there are also many whom I don't really know.

I've also found that there are commonly more instances of miscommunication. By talking to each other, people can see eye-to-eye, read facial expressions, listen to tone of voice, or even directly respond. In instant messaging, I find that it's really easy to misread things. Misusing a word or not typing fast enough to respond to the right line in a conversation are recipes for misinterpretation. Chatting through MSN, I could be wrongly imagining someone else's tone of voice or intention. E-mailing or blogging, like I am now, is one-way and might be used for ranting or venting frustrations, but doesn't allow for much reciprocation. It's quite easy to misread someone else's words without the chance to immediately ask a person to clarify/explain what they meant. I've been on both sides. I've wrongly assumed or read too much another person's thoughts or feelings, because I misread a MSN conversation. Conversely, others have mistaken my intentions because they took an e-mail out of context.

Anyway, so am I getting anti-social? No, at least I don't think so. :P I still have many friends whom I can get together with, hang out and talk to each other in meaningful ways. Still, there are times I'm a little disappointed that some other friendships are virtually online. I feel that those friendships could really grow and thrive if developed the 'old fashion' way. :)

And so I digress...

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