keepin' an eye open...

one question that came up in a recent conversation was: "how supportive are we of each other as friends?"... this topic stems from incidents / observations of some people around me. in one instance, the person is becoming easily irritated / agitated all the time. something has changed. they used to be quite pleasant / friendly with everyone. nowadays, they are snarky with others and there seems to be a sense of bitterness. in another case, the person is often quite distant and seems to be withdrawing from others socially... i kinda wonder if there's anything wrong in either situation, but i'm hesitant to ask too many questions 'cause i don't want to push any wrong buttons or dig into something that really isn't my business...

a remark / response to these happenings was that, perhaps, nobody had simply asked them 'how are you?' or 'how can we help?'. these simple questions could have been an easy way to show others that they had support and they had people around them who could give a hand to whatever troubles they had. their loneliness or lack of support probably didn't help and only made matters get worse... i realize that this is so true. with everyone's busy / hectic schedules with work / school, it is very easy to forget about those who are lonely, struggling or in need. i have been guilty of doing that myself. we are frequently so concerned / focused on taking care of ourselves, we fail to remember to put stuff aside for a little while and see what others are up to...

however, i argue that the onus doesn't rest completely with the 'helper'. i would challenge that the responsibility rests partly with the 'struggler' to actually ask for help and / or share about what troubles them. i understand that pride is often a factor because people don't like showing themselves as vulnerable. but sometimes it's a matter of others just not knowing what's going on until they've heard from someone else or the situation has 'blown-up'...

anyway, my chat just made me think about how important it is to check in on those around you once in a while. even a simple 'hello' and showing a bit of concern can do wonders for someone who is distressed. still, if we are the ones who are struggling, we need to be able to look to our friends as a source of support and help. forget pride and shame...

and so i digress...