Monday, May 31, 2004

at last...

wow. it's been quite a while since i last blogged. i haven't had much time lately 'cause weekends have been pretty busy. also, i really haven't had anything 'meaningful' to talk about. i think i'm past the point of just blogging about daily happenings. :)

anyway, here's an update of some things that have been going on over the last little while:

tccc summer conference @ mcmaster university
over the victoria day weekend, i went up to hamilton for our church's summer conference. it was the 1st one that we've had in 10 years. things didn't work out as planned as the adult speaker fell ill and couldn't make it up at the last minute. luckily, we already had a teen speaker and he graciously filled in. tim tang, from etcbc, spoke to all of us at 5 different sessions. frankly, i didn't get much out of them because i felt they lacked substance. however, tim was obviously in a difficult position 'cause surely his messages were geared towards teens. still, i can see that he is quite a dynamic speaker, so if he had actually prepared for adults, it may have turned out differently. one other thing that i was a little disappointed about was the lack of interaction / organized group activities. one person had put it succinctly in that conferences / retreats, along with focusing on God, are good opportunities to encourage team building and such. unfortunately none of this happened, and the couples just cliqued off with other couples and the teens just did stuff on their own too. it's too bad. it would have been good to get people to know each other so that our church would actually be more like a community. anyway, despite my quibbles, it was a good time to relax and refresh a bit, even if it was only in hamilton! i enjoyed catching up with people that i hadn't spent time with in a long time.

softball
last night we played our first game. a tough loss, 14-13. we were down early, but we made a valiant comeback to make it close. a lot of errors that can probably be attributed to opening-night jitters, lack of team practices, and miscommunication. with a bunch of new people, our cohesiveness isn't there yet. it'll take some time. i'm sure with some adjustments, our team will be fine though. to top it all off, i struck out. that's such a big NO-NO in slo-pitch! :P i thought i got kinda cheesed, but ultimately it was stupid of me to watch such a close pitch.

work
the last two months of work have been pretty good. i've gotten along much better with my new work colleague. whereas my previous supervisor seemed like she wanted everything to go thru her, my new co-worker has trusted me with a lot more responsibilities and decision-making. i think i just attribute this to experience. the previous person here had just started only a few months before me, so i think she also wanted to look good and make sure of everything. my current colleague has been working in the ministry for over 10 years now, and it's obvious she's much more comfortable with her position in the branch and her responsibilities. anyway, the working relationship is definitely healthier and less stressful. however, i expect the next little while to be much busier than the last month. oh yeah, and today i met the summer student. it's kinda odd 'cause i was exactly in the same position last year. one whole year! it's weird too 'cause he has an eerily similar background to me. asian male, recent grad, health sciences degree. we were even wearing the same colour clothes! haha. in any case, it's incredible to think that God has somehow provided. i gotta remember to count my blessings...

weddings and such
with summer pretty much here, me and many friends of mine have various weddings to attend. it's definitely a happy time 'cause it's great to see people start their lives together and celebrate such a joyous occasion. sometimes though, i have to say it's a little depressing for me too. what i mean is when some of us get together and talk about whose weddings we're going to attend and whatever, we jokingly ask each other, "so when are you getting married?" it's not that i want to get married (i'm still too young!), but sometimes the question just makes me wonder how alone i feel. it's no longer just the 'older' friends who are getting married, but it's also people who i went to school with. sigh. it's like life is passing me by. maybe it's 'cause i've been out of school for a while, and i guess i have more time to think about stuff now. (maybe i SHOULD go back to school to get my mind off these silly things.) there are times where there are things i want to do or thoughts i have, but i don't have that one person that i can count on to share them with. i also realize that some of my 'loneliness' comes from my fragile relationships with the rest of my family. my dad is off far away in china, i have trouble connecting in depth with my mom, and my brother seems to enjoy spending more time with his adopted family. still, it's not that i don't appreciate the friendships that God has placed in my life--male and female. they have been a source of encouragement whenever i feel down, but eventually they too will settle down. it's such a stupid thought, but once in a while i get these worries about growing old and alone. no family. no kids. ugh, i gotta start keeping myself busier with activities so that i don't think about this stuff anymore. can't wait for ultimate frisbee to start. or maybe it's God telling me to start thinking about Him more; it's time for me to re-strengthen my relationship with Him. argh.

anyway, that's enough digression from me. i think i've gotten it out of my system. :)

Tuesday, May 04, 2004